1. |
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1: the number of times i could not make you cum
2; i never had a problem with V
3 different positions of friction
i'm tripping all over my diction and
4 what purpose have i sold my victimhood
i5 embarrassed myself like i knew i would
6 isn't all that important if i'm no good
7*seven minutes in heavenly hotel room
you'll be flying home in the morning
i count down the hours 'till you're boarding
i even forgot to ask your first name
and there was no talk of you returning
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2. |
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i've got an addictive personality
and your personality is so addictive
but you're gonna be the one who gets attached to me
i'm gonna turn you out so submissive
i'm gonna play my stupid psychotic games
just to pass the time, proudly take the blame
get you hooked, cut you off, hang your head in shame
'cos you're not as strong as you like to claim
thought you had control, thought you had command
thought you were the boss, thought you were the man
but now you're acting according to my plan
like i knew you would, got me thinking "damn"
i don't even have an endgame
i never even set a goal here
i'm just following my instincts
i wonder what it says about me
i've got an addictive personality
and your personality is so addictive
but you're gonna be the one who gets attached to me
i'm gonna turn you out so submissive
i'll let you think that you're in control of me
as my ego grows exponentially
'till it eclipses personality
large enough to cover your whole body
keep you safe and sound right underneath me
right where you belong, you can't even see
this is what i wanted, it's my decree
no one ever again will get the best of me
safety is my only endgame
i play it all reflexively
i'll never let this feeling control me
i'd rather repress than bleed
i've got an addictive personality
and your personality is so addictive
but you're gonna be the one who gets attached to me
i'm gonna turn you out so submissive
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3. |
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the piss that i slept in is starting to reek
i shoulda took another shower before i went to sleep
but i wanted to sleep so bad
not that it mattered i laid there for hours and
stared at the ceiling reflections of light in my
feelings, reeling, wondering if i was nearing
the brink of extinction of all my appeal
and i barely feel anything, really
i asked him so nicely not inside my
mouth please and he started laughing aimed at my
incisors and it tasted awful cos he didn't
drink enough water i spit out a mouthful
just awkwardly sitting there naked until it was over
and then he turned on the shower to scald me
i rolled my eyes 'cos i wasn't surprised
you can never bhe surprised when it comes to these guys
'cos everyone's a sick fuck
jus out here tryna get your dick sucked
n tryna make a quick buck
so i guess that i'm in luck
'cos i feel like i don't feel
i'm ice cold but i'll fuck you like i mean it
anything you want, don't give a fuck how demeaning
call you any name and i'll moan it like i need it
any time of day, any place, 'til you're fiending
emotional labor ain't shit to me
i'll be your doormat, i'll lick your feet clean
i'll keep you pristine, i'll meet every need
yeah, you'll see
you wanna piss on me, master?
yeah, sure, whatever gets me outta here faster
take off my socks and get into the bathtub
look up longingly and open up
and i still can't decide how to rationalize
i mean i'm fine like i said i'm just rolling my eyes
i'm not the one who's gonna curl into a ball and cry
if i decide that i've had enough of this guy
the piss that i slept in is starting to reek
i shoulda took another shower before i went to sleep
but i wanted to sleep so bad
i'm a fucking pig and i don't feel bad
the piss that i slept in is starting to reek
i shoulda took another shower before i went to sleep
but i wanted to sleep so bad
not that it matters
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4. |
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i found god in a parking lot
bent over a console with a mouth full of cock
with a hand up my shirt and my eyes wide shut
"do you like that dick?" mhm uh huh
and i think to myself, what a wonderful world
how did i get so lucky? how did i deserve
the privilege and honor of being hirst first
blowjob of the month as i watch his toes curl
fingers on my back down the back of my pants
a fistful of my hair takes me out of my trance
and suddenly i'm going much deeper than i planned
i emerge and i cover my mouth with my hand
i found god in a parking lot
bent over a console with a mouth full of cock
with a hand up my shirt and my eyes wide shut
"do you like that dick?" mhm uh huh
lately i've been sucking semen like a motherfucking leech
tryna fill the fuckin void up in my heart with daddy skeet
and every time it doesn't work, i'm undeterred, still down to meet
another random guy i'm not even attracted to and eat
a couple loads of hot anonymous jizz
and let it bubble and fiz
inside my stomach when i
swallow his kids
and hope he's still okay with me
after he comes to his senses
still down to drop me off at home
and hope he doesn't ask questions
i found god in a parking lot
bent over a console with a mouth full of cock
with a hand up my shirt and my eyes wide shut
"do you like that dick?" mhm uh huh
my arm is falling asleep
but i won't stop 'till i get that kiss on the cheek
and a pat on the head and a "you were really good"
i didn't work this hard not to hear that you approve
and who the fuck is this
pulling up with their headlights
pushing my head
pulling up your pants? yeah right
as if they didn't see
as if i give a fuck
you say this sucks
yeah? word up
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5. |
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you get your butterflies from somebody else now
the chrysalises in my pants are gone now
there is another name that lights up your phone now
you must wanna stop, that's why you told me to slow down
all that i feel capable of doing is to be
small and non-invasive and hope you'll come to me
i know, i know, it's a two-way street
but if you really wanted to, you would talk to me
i am losing my mind over intrusive thoughts
of losing you each night so i'm not sleeping much
i know it's probably inevitable
because a love like ours was always doomed to fail
maybe i could just convince myself
that none of this was even real, i mean, maybe it wasn't
i lost all my favorite pictures of you
and that recording of your voice that you sent in june
your phone number will be disconnected
if i delete your texts then i can't dissect them
but baby, i love you so much
please don't forget me
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6. |
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you can tie me to the bed again tonight
i've got nothing else to do with no end in sight
and when it's snowy it feels good to be inside
tell me again how good it feels to be inside
you don't give me very much sir
it's just annoying in the morning when my muscles hurt
the aches and pains, they will go away
and that's about the only thing you left with me
oh, and thank you very much for the cold sore
but i don't think that i'll be visiting you anymore
i've gotten what i needed, i got my stupid fix
nothing in return for choking on a dick
why do i put myself through it?
who the fuck put me up to it?
what am i doing it for?
when am i going to learn?
even when it leaves a mark
even when it leaves a scar
i'm probably gonna go back
unless i get hit by a car
you don't give me very much, sir
it's just annoying in the morning when my lips hurt
poisonous kisses as i devour your face
but my neurons agree you're the zombie today
oh, and thank you very much for the cold sore
but i don't think that i'll be visiting you anymore
i've gotten what i needed, i got my stupid fix
nothing in return for choking on a dick
oh, and thank you very much for the cold sore
like i needed another reason to stay indoors
if i get sick enough, i won't even be bored
and if i can't look, then i can't be ignored
a lifelong reminder of something so pointless
unreciprocated orgasms in exchange for herpes simplex
why the fuck am i such a stupid whore
thank you very much for the cold sore
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7. |
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i gotta masturbate real quick so i dont make a bad decision
dangerously close to taking up an offer im not feeling
any porn that comes to mind'll do just tryna end the mission
looking forward to coming to earth the moment of emission
then ill look back at my phone like what the fuck was i thinking
im a slut, im indecent
better off w/ my screen and
even if im fiendin theres always another option
even if im feeling hollow i got vasseline and condoms
i got vasseline and condoms if you wanna come over
im all alone for two more hours but you gotta let me know
but i dont know i mean ugh i mean fuck
fine let me hop into the shower and ill be there around 9
wash away my better judgement
cos it's already in motion
like welp, this is happening
not that it really matters
like whatever i'll suck a dick
maybe even have a kiss
it's not gonna kill me
i mean yeah this is nothing
i'm so stupid
why do i do this
this doesnt feel good
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8. |
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he doesn't give us money but he lets us smoke his weed
he's got cocaine and one time he had lean
he's got nice speakers and big tv
his dick is alright and he's still got teeth
nothing else to do so im down to hang out
uber to his place already got his cock out
you mightve beat me here but ill beat you where it counts
take my clothes off join em in bed and get down
make out with eachother while we jack daddy off
kissing on his chest while he goes from mouth to mouth
let him do whatever we can be his playground
jump from boy to boy like it's a merry go round
i play with your hair while you lay there getting fucked
stroking while youre moaning put my dick inside your mouth
leaking semen from both ends got us feeling like sluts
i wonder if he knows we only do it for the drugs
he doesn't give us money but he lets us smoke his weed
he's got cocaine and one time he had lean
he's got nice speakers and big tv
his dick is alright and he's still got teeth
buy us both dinner and we'll go another round
anything you want sell it to you by the pound
my new brother and i yeah we vibe to the sound
of our daddy taking care of us it got us sleepin sound
it's music to my ears when he says he wants to watch us
he can have a show and i can have another puff
damn this is perfect, we're all in luck huh
hit me up again whenever you wanna fuck us
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9. |
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fuckin around like i'm dead inside
i've been up for six hours i'm gettin tired
the sink is a mess got the dishes piled
finished my coffee i'm never wired
i could use another cup but there's no clean mugs
so i guess i'll rinse out to refill it up
coffeemate two sugars praying for a buzz praying "god
please help me pack the dishwasher up"
'cos i got to get some shit done today
i need this laundry done like yesterday
i haven't brushed my teeth since like saturday
i haven't took a shower in at least two saturdays
and i know how it sounds
yeah i get why it's alarming
but i'm honestly alright
no thoughts of dying or self-harming
'cos i am not depressed
i'm just not feeling that great today
but i'll be fine
i'm not gonna kill myself
so could you just chill out
what you're doing isn't helping
just let me have my fucking moment
for a couple more weeks
pretty soon i'll be over it
and you won't recognize me
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10. |
FAVORITE GUY
04:13
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i just got a message from my favorite guy
i'm so excited, everything's alright
can't wait to find out what he's
got in mind
i'm so excited, he just sent a reply
and he wants to see me tonight
thought you took a fall
off the face of the earth
i've been waiting for your call
for what feels like fuckin forever
i figured you'd had enough
thought you must be finished with me
but i could not
get you out of my head
i tried to play the field
i fucked a dozen other guys
but nothing felt the same
the chemistry just wasn't right
it wasn't like
the way i felt driving around with you at night
just holding hands and talking shit
i can't contain myself when i'm with you
i was so afraid i'd never touch you again
i was so afraid i'd never fuck you again
and now you're back and you still want me
i feel so lucky
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11. |
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try
grieving in advance
always act as if
there's no point making plans
then
even when he dies
you only have to cry
for roughly half the time
set aside a couple hours every day
to take a dip inside the lake
of your very worst fears
submerge and start to bathe
blood from the jugulars
of everyone you love
is the best shampoo
when you're tryna cover up
and cover every base
preparing for the day
when all your borrowed time
swings around and makes you pay
there's nothing you can do
except start to accept
the inevitable fact
that it's all gonna
crash
heavy down on you
you know it to be true
and you'll deserve it too
so try
grieving in advance
don't get too attached
enjoy it while you can
but you can't
ruin it again
you're the source of all this hurt
you've done it to yourself
and there's only one thing worse
grieving in reverse
i can't pay the price
it's bad enough to cry
so i can't do it twice
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12. |
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i murder cock in the name of god
like i'm azealia banks when im giving top
i dont stop til the job is done
until ive filled my tongue w the taste of cum
and feel it in my tummy
and then i take a break until he's ready for more
and drags me by my ears right onto the floor
and rams his cock to the back of my throat
so that i gag and choke
until he's ready to blow
im the prince of blowjobs
i'll do anything
devoted to the art
of pleasuring my king
i'm the prince of blowjobs
watch me take it all
i'll make it disappear
i'll have you sayin wow
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13. |
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when you gonna get a clue
it ain't got shit at all to do with you
i know you're just saying hi
but i feel like i might cry
a number 1 on my messages makes me cringe
i prolly sound totally fucking unhinged
but my mental inbox is full
i'm gonna ignore you and it's not your fault
i wish i knew what to say
i wish i had a way to explain
i wish that it would go away
but it won't, so we're both gonna wait
in the very nicest possible way
don't ever contact me again
i swear that it's nothing personal
turn the read receipts off 'cos of you
gotta make the numbers go away
i don't want my phone ever to vibrate
ever again, no, don't ever vibrate
make it all go away
i can't answer, not today
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14. |
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take me
away please
i hate me
i'm breaking
i was not prepared for this
despair all day
in waves ever since
open fifths
and the power of a vocal cord
major minor ambiguity
but still discord
third not is not important
open fifths
over an open fifth
you want him?
you can have him
he's yours now
a distraction
i'm past that
i'm over it
a space has opened up
on my bucket list
take him
away please
he hates me
i'm shaken
i am so impaired and shit
i repaired myself
just to burn out again
he hates me
i pet him
he bites me
but i still love him
still bathe him
and feed him every night
take him for a walk
even though he just fights
i worship him
so i can summon him
get over him
just to get under him
a papercut
without a bandaid
or neosporin
so i can sublimate
beckon him to shackle me
serenading his apathy
apparently i'm happiest
venomously attacking it
it's all good
he can't hurt me
he's needy
kept under lock and key
but you can take him
away please
he wants me
to keep suffering
he thinks it
will teach me
i'll teach him
to be sweet
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