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1. |
DREAD
04:07
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i hate them all i hate them all i want them all to
worship me worship me worship me
space pirate affidavit
laying naked, smiling, rangefed
you know what? i'm about to say it (okay)
i don't give a fuck that you broke your elbow
giving me a half-assed handjob, it's velcro
sneakers too fucking lazy to break out the fellatio
i was a zygote and now i am an embryo
change your favorite bills to quarters
and keep it going long enough to vaccuum me out
so this is the reason you're so eager to deconstruct it
physically being underneath is not enough is it
killing is not as satisfying as overkilling is
zero gravity, zero suit, and zero resistance
and there you were on the table
with your vital signs stable
steel retractor kissing your innards
your chest spread eagle
i don't give a fuck what the doctors tell me
and i dont give a fuck what message boards on the internet
need to believe
to be able to fall asleep
in slaughterhouses on their gurneys
talking like they were fucking attorneys
and you were never the same
after the time they left
you out to sleep
outside overnight in the rain
so this is what happens after they finally corrupt you
stripped to your skeleton so nobody else will fuck you
right in your element where the elements just rust you
the armor's just a costume but this mannequin has a pulse, too
baited breath hot and wet on the self destruct switch
licking your lips, blowing kisses to better options
taking the piss, waiting, canceling at the guest list
lock yourself out, swallow the key and call the locksmith
i hate them all i hate them all i want them all to
worship me worship me worship me
i hate them all, i hate them all
but i want them all to
recognize greatness
appreciate the salaciousness
take my hand as i place it
in yours and lead you to
places where youll be
stripped of your basicness
rewarded for impatience
just keep your eyes on the lasers
pointing out spots on wallpaper
and then enlighten your neighbors
about exciting behavior
content contrived and contagious
captivated claim courageous
touching is good yes i claim this
but it's not making me famous
so this is the person remaining underneath the power suit
this is what's left, crumbs that the parasites could not chew
still recognizable, defiled but i still love you
you've been defiled but i'll still love you
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2. |
FUCK SOMEBODY NICE
03:46
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it's about time that i fuck somebody nice
and it's about time that i fuck him every night
cos i been letting too many fuckboys fuck me in the face for free baby you see
and it doesn't really do anything for me
my loneliness is still killing me
so it's about time that i start deleting apps
cos the void is in my heart and it's not inside my ass
and it's not inside my throat and it's not inside my hands
and i've never found the answer balls deep inside a man
and it's about time that i made somebody cry
cos they don't wanna lose me, not even for a night
it's about time that i fuck somebody nice
yeah, i think that it's about time i made love to somebody nice
laying in my bedroom on a monday night
checking my phone compulsively as if my fucking life
depends on being penetrated by as many guys
as i can get my dirty hands on before the sunrise
just so i can fall asleep feeling even emptier
than i already did prior to being entered
by someone i don't even like whose name i won't remember
i don't know why i put myself through this, it never works
it's about time that i fuck somebody nice
and it's about time that i fuck him every night
cos i been letting too many fuckboys fuck me in the face for free baby you see
and it doesn't really do anything for me
my loneliness is still killing me
so it's about time that i start deleting apps
cos the void is in my heart and it's not inside my ass
and it's not inside my throat and it's not inside my hands
and i've never found the answer balls deep inside a man
and now ive felt a sensation, felt something brand new:
liking a man's body while also liking him, too
the urge to suck a dick without feeling like i need to
only because i wanna make him cum cos he deserves to
wow i never knew something like this could exist
i thought that there was something wrong with me ,i thought my dick
was just defective 'till i felt it in between your lips
except the only thing i wanna right now is kiss
it's about time that i fuck somebody nice
and it's about time that i fuck him every night
cos i been letting too many fuckboys fuck me in the face for free baby you see
and it doesn't really do anything for me
my loneliness is still killing me
so it's about time that i start deleting apps
cos the void is in my heart and it's not inside my ass
and it's not inside my throat and it's not inside my hands
and i've never found the answer balls deep inside a man
and it's about time that i made somebody cry
cos they don't wanna lose me, not even for a night
it's about time that i fuck somebody nice
yeah, i think that it's about time i made love to somebody nice
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3. |
PORN ADDICT
03:52
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he doesn't last very long in bed
and i don't care as long as it's not me
so just promise me
that it's not
i'll do anything to please
anything that you want
anything to feel like
you want me
i bet he wishes i was younger like by fifteen years
i bet he wishes when he fucked me i'd break out in tears
i bet he wishes he could keep on choking
i bet he'd rather go online and just get back to stroking
baby you've been watching too much porn
every night you push me a little harder
slap me a little harder
right across the face
baby let me taste
all my favorite flavors at once:
blood, knuckles, sweat,
dick, and pillow case
mmmmm
if you like it then i will try it
and if you love it, well, i love you
so you don't have to ever wonder how it feels
we can recreate your favorite videos
you be the lead actor and i'll be the best prop you ever saw
all you have to do is
tell me exactly
what you want me to do
and i will do it for you
i'm getting scared that i'm
never gonna be
quite enough for you
baby you don't even get hard
until i suck your cock
and it's depressing as shit
got me feeling hideous
i pull out my best tricks
but it doesn't mean shit
so what the fuck do you mean
i'm the one you wanna be with?
i wanna make you work
'cos i'm in love with you
i wanna shake your earth
i wanna feel like i'm worth it
but nothing makes you turn
unless it really hurts
when i'm almost numb
that's when you finally cum
baby you've been watching too much porn
you're not gonna be happy
until you kill me
cut me up and spill me
all over your floor
all over your walls
cut my heart out
baby fuck my valves
show me that it's real
teach me how to love
love me right
semen in my lungs
are we finally having fun?
am i fun enough to be your last and only one?
do i make you cum?
do i make you scream?
do i make internal bleeding
look as sexy as you are to me?
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4. |
SET FREE
02:55
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if you love someone you gotta set them free
gotta give them space so they can breathe
fire in your face let them off the leash
so they can make you chase em into the street
let em out the cage let em sink those teeth
right into your throat like a piece of meat
let em dig those claws so that you cant see
what an awful monster youve come to be
i was a monster
and you were a liar
i was a rabbit
and you were a tiger
i tried to be honest
and you got inspired
like hmmmm
another dozen ways to defile
i tried so much harder
than im used to trying
handled you with care
bubble wrapped you and lined you
made sure not to drop you
never left you by the stairs
not knowing i was insuring
my own despair
you punch my face
and tell me how selfish
i am for not losing a tooth
i wanna know how i got to this place
and what i did to deserve you
you shave my head
while im sleeping
and call me evil for wearing a hat
i wanted so badly just for
you to be happy with that
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5. |
MEDICATED
03:46
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let's get you medicated
no need to be frustrated
stop feeling so degraded
fuck what they said, you made it
they don't know what they're claiming
successful stay in-patient
impatient, but you're changing
fuck what they said, you made it
you made it all the way back home in one piece
made everyone worried sick but don't feel guilty
this trauma belongs to you, don't let them pilfer pity
remove your filter for their own good they'll see
what they've done, what they've created, what they've sewn they will reap
newton's third law doesn't preclude you from being happy
you've internalized a lot for many for too long
they'll push you back but let them bleed because you are strong
let's get you medicated
no need to be frustrated
stop feeling so degraded
fuck what they said, you made it
they don't know what they're claiming
successful stay in-patient
impatient, but you're changing
fuck what they said, you made it
they don't see what your pain is
don't understand this strain of
show 'em all what you're made of
controlled substantial stuff
let's get you medicated
let's get you stripped and naked
stop feeling so degraded
fuck what they said, you made it
fuck what they said your body's still on earth
fuck what they said your body's still in one piece, still got worth
fuck what they said, you've built a massive tolerance for hurt
fuck what they said, if you don't listen then it doesn't work
it doesn't work if you don't listen so just cover your ears
and close your eyes and fantasize and just repress your fears
just count to 10 a million times and reabsorb those tears
into your blood, into your heart until your mind is clear
not therapeutic to rebuke yourself on loop
when you've got nothing else to do
if you've got nothing left to prove
there is no shame in turning brains off
single sections at a time
it's not a crime to vegetate
or to inhibit reuptake
let's get you medicated
no need to be frustrated
stop feeling so degraded
fuck what they said, you made it
they don't know what they're claiming
successful stay in-patient
impatient, but you're changing
fuck what they said, you made it
they don't see what your pain is
don't understand this strain of
show 'em all what you're made of
controlled substantial stuff
let's get you medicated
let's get you stripped and naked
stop feeling so degraded
fuck what they said, you made it
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6. |
LET ME IN
06:13
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you do not trust me
but you dont trust anyone
i really like you
cos youre not just anyone
and that doesnt mean
i deserve special treatment
don't need to meet your mom
but introduce your demons to me
let 'em out put 'em on full display
so they can stretch their legs
i'll bring out mine, they can play
you know you gotta take 'em out for walks
every day
or they will get rambunctious
and start to bay
at the moon at night
very soon i might
say something to you
that'll prove you right
every nasty thing you assumed
all along was the truth
and i'm just as abusive
and base and abrasive and basic
as all of the people you disassociate with
on a daily basis
i wanted to present as adjacent to you
but i'm not
but let me try
i'm falling in love with you
let me in
inside your world
i promise
it won't hurt
i'll go slow
i'll listen
just tell me
when i should quicken the pace
i will read all the signs on your face
i will be so attentive there will be no pain
just have faith in me baby i'll show you the way
it can be, if you let me in baby i'll stay
your hesitation
i understand
our hands touch
only by accident
but i feel a spark
but it's more like fireworks
but it feels like a time bomb
lodged in my heart
only one in there
with it is you
and i wish you would
red yellow or blue
cut one of the wires
any one of them
bring this to an end
if you're really a friend
i never wanna put any pressure on you
but it's hard to pretend
that where we stand
is a position that i'm okay with
i can't look at you
without thinking of locking lips
and i dont wanna try to influence you
but i'm afraid of being direct
and i know you are too
but i don't wanna regret this
so i'm gonna try to be honest about what i want for us
let me in
inside your world
i promise
it won't hurt
i'll go slow
i'll listen
just tell me
when i should quicken the pace
i will read all the signs on your face
i will be so attentive there will be no pain
just have faith in me baby i'll show you the way
it can be, if you let me in baby i'll stay
but if i'm not something
that youd be open to
if love just isnt part of
my future with you
if you cant imagine
saying i love you too
no harm no foul
no pressure yeah we're still cool
i guess. no, i know how that sounds
look i'm trying
to make myself be more okay
with how things are now
knowing that's the way that they'll stay
but that's worst case though
if there's a chance
that the answer's not no
let me in
inside your world
i promise
it won't hurt
i'll go slow
i'll listen
just tell me
when i should quicken the pace
i will read all the signs on your face
i will be so attentive there will be no pain
just have faith in me baby i'll show you the way
it can be, if you let me in baby i'll stay
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7. |
CIRCUS FAGGOT
03:35
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damn youre a bigger fuckin faggot than i am
you got more dicks in your mouth than i had
last night at your mans house
and you were out
trying in vain to proliferate clout
fiendin for a shouts out
cos you breathe and bleed that shit
but it’s a black out
youre a vampire on my dick
and i can see through all your shit
you are painfully ordinary
youre basic
so go and do your drugs
as if youre glamorous
and post statuses
bout how youre cuttin up
as if i give a fuck
as if im jealous of
a social climbing scrub
a tiny bug
you know i dont fuck w you
cos i dont suffer fools
youre the dirt on my shoes
youre my semen tissues
that i toss in the trash
and you are the rat
digging through for a snack
youre fucking sad
we will never be friends
we will never be equals
im a blockbuster
youre a straight to video sequel
in a bargain bin at blockbuster
i’m sugarcane
youre a packet of equal
so go and do your drugs
and get drunk as hell
humiliate yourself
no one gives a fuck
damn i’m so happy that i’m better than you
i didnt even try, it’s not hard to do
i was born this way, and you were born this fake
now suck my dick some more and taste this dna
youre a stupid motherfucker arent ya
put some cuts in your arm bruh
it’ll arm u for when i make you do it anyway
after i slaughter
after i harm u
after these bars do
what your xanny bars could never do
make you relevant
make you well again
make you elevate
to another state of consciousness
like im heavensgate
youre hanging on my every word
all you fuckin do is lurk
youre a fucking loser
and yeah i heard
youre fucking deranged
and im entertained
so look at you
serving a purpose in
pain youre too stupid to feel
suck as many degenerate dicks
as you can so you dont have to beg for a meal
i bet youre gonna dance on command
like the clown that you are
for the cool kids who cant really stand you
but keep you around because you are a scammer
keep selling them wishes that youll never grant
or they keep you around for the cheap entertainment
watch you make a fool of yourself for no payment
they keep you around but it’s only for now
you should know cos youve never kept friends for too long
it takes maybe a month at the most
to see through you then pack up and go
you have nothing to offer
and nothing to show for yourself
after years of the same insane self obsessed
inane derivative meaningless bullshit
when they see youre not even worth using
theyll dump you like garbage again and again
and youre just to narcissistic to realize you deserve it
so dance, faggot
i know how you lovvvvvvvvvve being called that
how your favorite flavor validation’s
sympathy for shit you made up
copy pasting anyone who’s still up
trip and fall on purpose
jus so they might laugh and fill your drink up
oh my god youre such a fuck up
but i wont say that cos youll
convince yourself that it’s glamorous
see yourself as some tragic
hilarious endearing shit huh
you have no integrity
you are not an artist
i have no respect for you
and i don't have time for a circus
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8. |
HIDEOUS
03:30
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i wasnt born feeling hideous
but i'll probably die feeling hideous
doesnt matter how many pretty boys i kiss
doesnt matter how many meals i skip
doesnt matter whos on my dick
and it doesnt matter if i take a nice pic
doesnt matter if i got a man who worships me
doesnt make a difference what anybody thinks
i am always gonna feel fuckin hideous, hideous
but that's ok cos theres plenty other good things about me
i got talent determination and heart, so what
if everybody looks at me and thinks that i am ugly
theyll still appreciate the other things i offer, right ?
haha i mean oh wait no, theyll just laugh
theyll laugh and laugh as they pass me over and ill deserve that
i will deserve to be mocked for daring to be born
looking the way that i do i'm just begging to be scorned
hideous in my way
hideous in my face
hideous how i sound
when i say
that i feel so hideous hideous
hideous on my best days
in the back of my brain
a constant refrain
of voices in pain
reminding me i'm
hideous, too hideous to leave the house
it'd be selfish of me to
subject the public to viewing
such a fucking hideous creature
insidious to even open my mouth
forcing these innocent beautiful people
to experience this hideousness
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9. |
⍺
02:35
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twice my age but twice as insecure
you feel tough cos i play dumb and demure
the things you said over text were hardcore
"alpha dom daddy" n shit i coulda sworn
you tell me dont be nervous i see that youre projecting
wish youd shut the fuck up and get back to directing
let me take my clothes off and get down to erecting
im starting to have doubts that youre capable of impressing
i love it when you tell me all i have to say is stop
hilarious that you think i forgot
and i might let you get on top
and let you feel like youre hot
shit
but we both know im the one calling the shots
and fuck a safe word
you might fantasize about me getting hurt
but ill have you in the psych ward
a million years
before you are my lord
and thats word
to my daddy
or at least thats who he is
from the floor
you think that you found me
took me home off of the street
looking for a little boy
to train and discipline and teach
how to please you in between the sheets
im all your fucked up fantasies
my personal comforts secured
by playing whore a few times a week
i love it how you think youre such a dom daddy top
it's laughable when you act like im fiending to taste your cock
to be honest the reason that my dick is so hard
is cos i know im in control
and i think it's starting to show
i might call you daddy
but i think we both know
youre the one getting son'd
showing you jus how it's done
i'm the one getting fucked
but youre the one getting cucked
youre the one getting sucked
but youre beta as fuck
i love it when you tell me all i have to say is stop
hilarious that you think i forgot
and i might let you get on top
and let you feel like youre hot
shit
but we both know im the one calling the shots
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10. |
POSSESSIVE
04:10
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and they'll say
"he was eerily calm
as he picked up the gun
and proceded to fire not just once,
not twice, but
third time's the charm
as he turned the firearm on himself
nobody else was harmed
police were quick to respond
but the damage was done
the ambulance would come
but it was over before it had begun
they all died instantly
never saw themselves bleed"
so i guess the only person who suffered
here was me
you say that i'm possessive
but the one who's possessed is me
by you baby
you see
you're the one who made me do this
you just really pushed me to it
i begged you to stop playing with me
you pretended you didnt see
you called me fucking crazy
so is this what the doctor ordered baby??
you told me not to call you
so i didnt til you called me
and acted like everything was normal
never caring about my turmoil
i'm sorry that i don't share your dysfunction
i'm sorry i have emotions
i'm sorry i'm not a robot
or a liar or a sociopath
like you
i know you hate being called that
you say you can't help how you are
but i can
save you baby
you've been possessed
but i've got just the thing
i swear
i will exorcise us both
you'll see i'm not possessive
i just loved you the most
but you hate me
but it's not you
who keeps on repeating his name
i swear
i will exorcise us both
you'll see
i'm not posessive i just loved you almost as much as you
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11. |
DESTINY
05:14
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it was my destiny to eventually disgust you
just like everything else you love will eventually do
idealize, analyze, demonize, crucify
build me up so you can see me through your scope lens eye
a tale of extremes tucked between my legs
your former place of worship where you never had to beg
cos if it seems like it's too good to be true
you will not rest til youve ensured that it isn't
it was your destiny to be disgusted
by me, now you're pissed about the
gifts you used to buy me cos you've
seen that i'm a liar was i
lying when i said you shouldn't have?
honestly, i probably was
i don't deny i'm all the things you
say i am but to be fair i'm
not responsible for
things projected on me
maybe i should have been better giving clarity
on how i'm not that special
in all actuality
i wasn't used to getting that kind
of attention and i'm sorry that i
let it get the best of me
in my defense:
it was my destiny to eventually disgust you
just like everything else you love will eventually do
idealize, analyze, demonize, crucify
build me up so you can see me through your scope lens eye
a tale of extremes tucked between my legs
your former place of worship where you never had to beg
cos if it seems like it's too good to be true
you will not rest til youve ensured that it isn't
it was your destiny to be disgusted
and i know your passive aggressive posts
are just the way that you are processing, it's how you cope
i know how painful it can be when you are forced to host
that kind of anger at the things you care about the most
part of me wants to reach out and part of me knows to shut my mouth
i should have acted when i first saw things were going south
or am i making excuses to justify getting out
and leaving you to clean the mess i made while i fuck about
it was my destiny to eventually disgust you
just like everything else you love will eventually do
idealize, analyze, demonize, crucify
build me up so you can see me through your scope lens eye
a tale of extremes tucked between my legs
your former place of worship where you never had to beg
cos if it seems like it's too good to be true
you will not rest til youve ensured that it isn't
it was your destiny to be disgusted
do you wanna vomit
do you wanna comment
on how much of an abomination i've become
and do you wanna stop it
don't you wish you never met me
don't you wish you never fed me
and my fucking ego
do you really wish me dead, though?
it was my destiny to eventually disgust you
just like everything else you love will eventually do
idealize, analyze, demonize, crucify
build me up so you can see me through your scope lens eye
a tale of extremes tucked between my legs
your former place of worship where you never had to beg
cos if it seems like it's too good to be true
you will not rest til youve ensured that it isn't
it was your destiny to be disgusted
i was never not gonna disgust you
you were never not gonna mistrust me
you ruin everything that you love
and now you're looking at me like i'm the one who's fucked up
that may be true, but look at you; deep down
you know the truth and you know we both do
do you wanna vomit
do you wanna comment
on how much of an abomination i've become
and do you wanna stop it
don't you wish you never met me
don't you wish you never fed me
and my fucking ego
do you really wish me dead, though?
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12. |
APOCALYPSE
03:20
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this apocalyptic bullshit's a convenient excuse
to confess all of my feelings and say i love you
no idea what's important, what i'm supposed to do
before i'm into the black, i will get out of the blue
and i really don't wanna ruin our beautiful friendship
and i would be devastated if i made everything awkward
and i would hate myself 'till the end of time, however short it may be
if i did anything to fuck up how you look at me
but i can't help but believe
there's a possibility
that you are the one for me
that i don't want you, i need
to be beside you and sleep
forever together in peace
when it's time to say goodbye
to reality
since the world is burning
guess i might as well stop turning
from my secret burning questions
and start learning how to ask them
since the world is burning
maybe i should stop returning
to the places where i'm comfortable
so you won't think i'm boring
or not worthy of your company
as we approach these final weeks
where every second matters
so will you be my eternity
and do you wanna get married
and hey you've still never smoked weed
and do you wanna top me with no condom
and cum inside me
i just wanna sleep with you forever
since the world is burning
i should stop
i should stop
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